By John C. Friel Ph.D., Linda D. Friel M.A.
It's expected that as many as 34 million humans grew up in alcoholic houses. yet what concerning the remainder of us? What approximately households that had no alcoholism, yet did have perfectionism, workaholism, compulsive overeating, intimacy difficulties, melancholy, difficulties in expressing emotions, plus all of the different character characteristics which could produce a kinfolk approach very similar to an alcoholic one? numerous thousands folks fight with all these dysfunctions each day, and until eventually very lately we struggled by myself. Pulling jointly either thought and scientific perform, John and Linda Friel supply a readable clarification of what occurred to us and the way we will be able to rectify it.
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Additional resources for Adult children: the secrets of dysfunctional families
8. We are the migraine sufferers, the exercise bulimics and the high achievers with troubled marriages. 9. We are the social "stars" who feel terribly lonely amidst our wealth of friends. 10. Some of us grew up in chaotic families and were weaned on alcoholism, incest and physical, emotional and spiritual abuse. Page 19 11. Some of us are especially paralyzed now because the dysfunction we experienced was so subtle (covert) that we can't even begin to put a finger on what it was that happened to us.
Has managed to survive and grow. It has weathered the "good times" of the 50s; the upheaval of the 60s; the sexual revolution of the 70s and the "new me generation'' of the 80's. In fact, like cancer-fighting cells in the human body, it is starting to spread even more, and it is changing shape as well. A. have been modified slightly to fit a number of other dysfunctional lifestyles. There is Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Bulimics Anonymous, Spenders Anonymous, Parents Anonymous (for recovering child abusers), Smokers Anonymous, Workaholics Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous and Fundamentalists Anonymous (for people trying to break free from destructive religious orientations), Co-dependents Anonymous and Adult Children Anonymous (for adult children of dysfuctional families).
And while they serve to give us the illusion that we are in control, they are in fact clear indicators that what we have really done is to give up healthy control of our lives to something outside of ourselves. By becoming trapped in an addiction or phobia, we actually trade true control over our lives for the illusion of control. It is this illusion of control that makes giving up our symptoms so frightening. The sex addict truly and sincerely believes that if he or she gives up unhealthy sex, life will crumble in chaos.